Not just because of the CFS, but obviously the CFS makes it so much worse.

Recently I've been noticing how much worse my mood gets when I'm tired. This is partly because I've been trying to go with the flow a bit more and not beat myself up too much when I'm low. The thing is my lowest times seem to be after I've done a weekend event and am absolutely shagged out. I suspect people aren't quite aware of how much of my ability to keep going at weekend events is purely adrenaline and 2l a day of Coke. It's usually two to three days before I've recovered physically from one.

And as I say, when I'm tired, my depression gets harder to battle. I generally just have to sit it out and do no brain activities like Internet and DVDs. I've tried forcing myself into action, and it just makes things worse. Better to try to look after myself until the whole thing passed.

The solution to this is obvious, right? Stop doing LARP weekenders. Brilliant deduction, Holmes, but there's a quality of life issue here. These events are one of the few things that actually give me some real pleasure. If I were to always make judgments based on whether my CFS was up to it, I'd never do anything fun at all. So I try to look after myself when I'm not doing something important to me and accept that the good doesn't come without the bad. I'm so much less than I want to be, but I guess I just have to live with that.